.

she's got that porcelain skin
and those eyes full of sin
she'll give you a taste
if you pay her price

I look into her eyes
and see the disguise
the veil that she
puts up every day

she's my only getaway

oh how that time flies

the semester is over, eeeeeep!
there are two prospects, both being back home.
gots me a date apparently.
listen to rise against, your day will be better.

Oh, my bad

i mistook you for someone who wasn't a complete piece of shit.

you

are pathetic.
are nothing but a fucking hypocrite.
have done just about every thing you once swore to me you'd never do.
have turned your back on everything you once believed in.
have seemingly forgotten me, forgotten what once was.

I'm fucking glad that I don't give a shit anymore.

distill the life that's inside of me.

the greatest reason to grow up in the nineties.

I. Love. Acid.

sometime from 3 P.M. on Saturday to 4 A.M. on Sunday, each of these events occurred:

1. i, with two others, took acid for the first time.
2. we went through an entire half a fucking ounce.
3. we also ate an ENTIRE two pound bag of sour patch kids.
4. We watched muted Aqua Teen, with Lil' Wayne playing in the stereo.
5. I played with one of these...for TWO HOURS.

6. I went on a drive through the country, ending up like 5 miles northeast of Purdue.


also, i'm back in love with nirvana.

"sit and drink pennyroyal tea, distill the life that's inside of me"

There was once a time when i cared,

and that time is over.

new life plan:
be as apathetic as possible.
be a self indulgent asshole.
use.
abuse.
repeat.







i got a haircut. not that i give a fuck what anyone thinks about it.



also, new AFI...definitely a step in the right direction.

OFFSPRING!

The Offspring's set was totally amazing! I enjoyed hearing such songs as...well, all of them. But, the set included...well, rather than type the list, i'll just show you this...




that's right, muhfuggas! I got a goddamned setlist!

be jealous.

saw saving abel tonight also, but i was less impressed with their set, which was barely an hour.

Rancid/Rise Against

Today i witnessed a glorious sight.
around 3 P.M., i sat down on some bleachers in this music festival, planting myself for the next 9 hours. i would eventually move up to around the 4th row, a little towards stage left. During the day, I saw the likes of four spectacular bands.

Hillbilly Casino-Nashville, TN
Riverboat Gamblers-Austin, TX
Rancid-Bay area, CA
Rise Against-Chicago, IL.

hillbilly casino was a very entertaining group, they played a wonderful cover of "Hybrid Moments", by the Misfits.

I had previously seen Riverboat Gamblers open for Against Me! in april of 2007, i wasn't disappointed then, and I'm not disappointed with them tonight.

Rancid was up next. mind you, i have been waiting since 2003 to see these guys... think about that... TWO THOUSAND AND THREE! that's like six years. and I was not upset at all with their set. surprisingly, their set was comprised mostly of songs off of their album "...and out come the wolves", which was recorded over a decade ago. their set included such gems as:
Ruby Soho
Time Bomb
Maxwell Murder
Roots Radicals
Fall Back Down

I even got a pick from Lars Frederickson :D



Lastly, there was RISE AGAINST. I have been waiting since 2006 to see these guys...and boy was it worth the wait. They played the glory of such songs as:
Give It All
Paper Wings
Blood to Bleed
Ready to Fall
Prayer of the Refugee
Survival
The Good Left Undone
Hero of War
Re-education Through Labor


The only sad part is that they didn't play swing life away, which happens to be my favorite song by them. It also has a bit of sentimental meaning behind it for me.


oh well, still one of the best shows i've seen.


tomorrow-the offspring.

Man, oh man...

summer's doin good.
my mind is in so many places right now in the girl department.
i'm a goddaddy. baller satus, anyone?
beat DOOM, now onto return to castle wolfenstein.
DQ is aight.

oh, seth has a 150 watt combo bass amp for show use, BALLER!

i didn't sleep for 40 hours...had about 2 grams of caffeine [12 oz of red bull has like .125 grams for relative purposes].



<3 killswitch engage's holy diver.

Two weeks until school's out...

I don't know how I feel about that. I will be glad to be home for three months, but I think the longer I stay out of there, the more I realize how little there is for me in La Porte. Aside from family and a few friends, I have no reason to ever go back really. I like it here in Lafayette. I like my friends here, there's a sense of belonging I never really got in high school. I have the best friends anyone could ask for with Lacey, Eric, Andrew, and Corey... I wouldn't trade them for the world.

I also realize that I rely way to much on autocorrect in MS Word, because I'm used to it auto-capitalizing my i's.

I'm watching a movie called "Teeth". It is about a girl with vaginal dentata, or "toothed vagina". It's actually quite entertaining.

I need to finish the application to ivytech.

I have apparently gotten the nickname of "Dale". I have no idea why.

I have also fall back in love with Southern Comfort. Best drink ever-
2 oz. SoCo 100 proof
1 can of monster, blue/green/yellow blends.


so good...


i've been digging on some Queen and Metallica lately

I just don't fucking know anymore...

I DON'T know where this whole girl situation is going, and it is verrrry weaksauce.
I DON'T know where my band situation is going...also very weaksauce.
I DON'T know why my car has to be a complete piece of shit ALL the fucking time.
I DON'T know why we are barely friends anymore.
I DON'T know where I'm going with my life.

that is all for that very brief rant.


In other news, I beasted out 11 hours of pizza slinging yesterday, for 65 measly fucking dollars.
i guess with my 5 an hour, that is still like 11 dollars an hour, so i won't bitch.

I hope this weather gets warm, summer can't come soon enough.

Three more weeks, then it's back to the ole' summer monotony. Not that it's a bad thing, monotony can be nice. It's relaxing

I also hope that with me not leaving back to Lafayette for three months will give me time to get shit straight with a few people from back home. See:my brief rant above.

I went 3 days without smoking, it was unanimously agreed that i become highly pissy, socially anxious, and uptight. no bueno.

I make 11 dollars an hour, work anywhere from 25-40 hours a week, and still, by some impossible feat, am always broke.

I need to get my life in order, this year of chaos and lack of structure has thrown me alllll out of whack.

Maybe I should just live in Portage this summer?

I barely eat anymore...no time. I never even think about eating. It is a wierd feeling.
On that note, time to go to the bank, then do my much-belated taxes.

deuces.

Life, as it turns out, really is just a bunch of intersections.

And I have no idea which way to turn half the time.


My life has got to be one of the most unpredictable things in existence.
I never even know how my week will unfold.
A year ago, I would have NEVER guessed where I'd be today.
I would like to guess where I will be this time next year, but I honestly could not tell you.
And if I tried...I would probably be wrong.

This has been my anthem of March.

Spring Break...such a sweet repreive.

I have done a whole fucking lot this spring break. Chronologically, it is thusly-
-Got Hacienda with Lyss on friday.
-Was baked with Megan from roughly friday night through sunday afternoon.
-Was in Milwaukee from Sunday night through Tuesday morning. while there, I:
-Saw the Watchmen [COMPLETELY amazing, minus the animated blue dong.].
-Got REALLLLLY baked with the cousin.
-Meandered around a mall after hours, pretty cool.
Once I returned to the ole' Indiana, I:
-Got super trashed at a mini birthday celebration at mi madre's.
-Had a campfire at megan's grandparent's house, where i twisted my ankle [no bueno!].
-Got that damned ticket paid for today [which is Friday.].
-And, lastly, I finally got that fucking tattoo I've always wanted!
It's the upper-right hand corner of the album "Black Sails In The Sunset", by AFI. The quote is "Through Our Bleeding" on top, and "We Are One" on bottom. Suprisingly, the pain was minimal. Now, for some obligatory pictures.


this is roughly half way through the session


finished product, pretty red from the irritation. should be pretty ballin' once healed.

In other news, I have come to the realization that, no matter how much i try for it not to happen, I end up completely liking Megan again. It really sucks, because I realize that it will most likely never happen. Even though we pretty much act like a couple all the time [and I have heard this from more than one of our mutual friends], and the fact that I am roughly 95% sure she likes me at least a fair amount, it will probably never happen. and it sucks.


Well, if it happens...then it happens.

It's Thursday.

I guess I lost the battle with Purdue.
The Ivy Tech plan seems to be in effect.
Luckily, my parents haven't released an atomic bomb on me.
Come on baby, don't fear the reaper.
I am listening to Blue Oyster Cult.
I have been obsessing with teen movies lately
and I think that my mind is producing random guitar riffs into my mind, like
-wings of a butterfly-HIM
-paint it black-Rolling Stones
-welcome to paradise-Green Day
they are incredibly realistic, and quite amazing.



Me and Ska music are officially back together.
the break was killing me.
we are in love.
babby coming soon.
<3 SKA


I feel as though I am leaving my mind right now, at this very moment.

Nirvana just jumped into my mind.
Kurt Cobain is clawing at my brain.

It's cold outside
thats NO bueno.

i worked for 12 hours today, also no bueno.
but i'm done with work until after spring break.
and i made decent bank.

so it's all bueno.

Options...oh, the options.

I am crunching some numbers [monetarily, and in relation to my GPA]...and i am seeing a few options for my future.


1. hope to god i don't fail purdue, and go on with the lease i have signed for next year
2.fail purdue, but keep the lease and go to ivy tech in lafayette.
3. find a subleaser for me, and go to PNC next year.


With my incredibly hard classes, I am taking the less optimistic approach and trying to prepare for the worst. Since there is a slight probability that i will be dropped, I will either have to enroll at Ivytech in Lafayette, or sublease and go to PNC for at least a year...



oh, the choices...

fuck.my.life.

I can't sleep.

I have come to realize that my greatest fear, over anything else, is that i will fail out of school.
With failing school, comes...
disappointing friends/family
have a nowhere job
being up to my fucking cock in debt
and being a failure at life in general.


it has hit me very hard, today...that if i don't change my ways, i WILL fail out.
and that CAN'T happen.



here's to salvaging my education.

Insomnia can fall off of a cliff.

It is Five A.M.
I cannot sleep.
I am hot.
I am in love with Lady Sovereign.
I am in love with Cheech and Chong.
I am in love with Full Throttle.
I am in love with OLD AFI.


like this...

Intriguing...

I can't get her out of my head.
when I close my eyes...she's there.
when I go to sleep...she's there.
whenever I think...she's there.

she's haunting me, and I wonder how long i can go in silence...


In other news...
one of my cousins old chums apparently lives in lafayette.
and she apparently hangs out at an anarchist collective i'm associated with.
and she apparently hangs out with a group of lesbians who associate with the group of lesbians that I party with.


talk about a coincidence.

i've been into some wierd shit lately...

there's the AFI [as always]
but then i've been listening to a log of new wave gothy stuff

like:
The Smiths
The Cure
Depeche Mode
New Order


as well as some indie, a la Neutral Milk hotel.



time for a bowl...

It's so shitty outside.

They're calling for wind chills in excess of thirty degrees below Fahrenheit. And classes are still to be attended as scheduled...that's sick.

I'm still watching Freaks and Geeks, and it is STILL amazing.

...i can hear the wind outside. this is going to be one horrible day.

It's four in the Morning, and, like many others with Insomnia, I choose to take this out on a blog. Wonderful.

I really need a girl. Someone who can share the same interests as me. Someone who i can be a total goofball around, and they'll just shrug it off as cute. Someone i can party with, and still share a deep conversation with. Someone i can vent my frustrations too, without fear of judgement. Someone who can help me when I'm low, and be with me when i'm...errr....high.

my problem is that whenever i get close to a girl who i might even remotely have a chance with, i puss out and remain on that horrible "just friend" stage. I need to grow a pair.


i'm in lovelovelove with mellow music lately. acoustic stuff, laid back stuff, slow paced stuff, its wonderous.

My brain has officially lost its ability to think, so i am going to end on this note:

everything sucks, i can't sleep, i'm a pussy, but freaks and geeks, as well as music [like always] is completely awesome.

FREAKS AND GEEKS!

I have fallen deeply [back] in love with the show that single handedly launched the careers of such notable actors as JAMES FRANCO, SETH ROGAN, and JASON SEGEL. That show's name is...Freaks and Geeks. I used to watch it all the time early on in the millennium, and now remember why i was so upset that the show was cancelled. It captures teen angst at its finest. It didn't rely on star power to get ratings, and it is quite a shame that the show ended after just one season.

In other news...I'm back at Purdue. Classes have started again. And I may have a wager against a fellow chum that i can go without smoking pot until spring break if the other participant can go until spring break without drinking booze. It came about when i was told that i couldn't quit smoking if i wanted too [and, why the fuck would i want too?!].


i'm also on the hunt for some good torrents like cream, pink floyd, and the who.